Millennials Mindset: The Key to Self Improvement

Tried and tested method by which thousands if not Millions have transformed themselves into better individuals and how you can too...

Before we begin going all out with our discussion, tips, and tricks for self-improvement,

Let me tell you a short story.

The story of two brothers named Harry and Barry. Harry and Barry were identical twins. They looked so similar that at times even their parents would not be able to differentiate between them.
But one strong characteristic that significantly made them different was that while Harry was well mannered, honest, trustworthy and hard-working, Barry was simply the opposite.

Barry always found it difficult to control his anger, tongue, and emotions. He was quite provocative, materialistic, and had a habit of blameshifting. This made him quite unpopular among his classmates and friends. Because of his volatile nature, he found it really difficult to make and maintain friends.
Being Barry's brother had its consequences too. Even though Harry was quite the opposite of Barry and was liked by most of his classmates, they were quite reluctant to make him a part of their group considering he was Barry's brother.

One day while Harry was rushing towards the cafeteria to have his lunch, some of his classmates mistook him for Barry and Harry heard the say "Hey! you recognize that guy over there? He's from the B section and you know he is such a brat, no wonder no one wants to be seen around him leave alone befriend him."

This hurt Harry deeply and was the point where he decided he needs to draw a line and stop this treatment towards him and Barry once and for all. But this wasn't possible unless and until Barry himself decides to mend his ways.

Even though Barry was a hard guy, if there was anyone for whom he had a soft corner then it was Harry. Barry loved his brother deeply cause he knew he was the only person who never judged him or made him feel bad about himself. Harry knew this and was sure that Barry will value his advice and will listen to him.

It wasn't like Barry of all persons was didn't care about what people thought of him and was enjoying being rude to others. He, in fact, felt sad and left alone because of this but didn't know how to change it.

One fine day Harry finally confronted Barry and said with a heavy heart "Barry, this needs to stop. You can't go around being rude, disrespectful and hurting others but most importantly yourself. If you continue like this you and me both will be left with no friends and we'll be left all alone in this whole wide world." These words had a deep impact on Barry and he explained to his brother that he wants to change but doesn't know how to.

Harry knew he got Barry's undivided attention at this point and explained his plan to him that they'll make an agreement with each other that whenever Barry will let his bad side take over him and make him indulge in some bad habit or behavior than at the very moment Harry will confront him with either a stern warning, a pinch or a slap on the back if needed. They both agreed to this.

From the very next day, they started their mission to self-improvement. That very day they went to the supermarket along with their parents where Barry saw a kid of almost hi age indulging on icecream. Barry being Barry allowed his materialistic ugly side to take over and he started demanding the same icecream and eventually started creating a scene. Harry jumped in and gave a tight squeeze just above Barry's elbow and gave him a mouthful that he shouldn't behave like this. Having a brother of his same age scolding him and subsequently advising him made Barry felt a little ashamed and he stopped the ruckus at the very exact moment.

Days passed and with some difficulty but slowly with each passing day Barry developed more and more control over his language, emotions, and temper. One day while the brothers were climbing down the stairs on their way back home, a boy rushed by them accidentally crashing with Barry making him fall. The boy soon apologized but as Barry was about to lash out at him he noticed his brother ready to either pinch or slap him hard across his back. Realizing so he stopped and took control over his emotions, smiled at the boy and said it was okay.
Eventually, there came a day at being polite and well mannered became second nature for him and thus the brothers were embraced with open arms among their classmates.

Well, each of us has a pair of Harry and Barry inside us and the kind of person we turn into depends on whom we let take the control over our feelings, emotions, and reactions. The Harry inside us is our conscious part over whom we have control and the one who doesn't like being a brat and instead wants to be polite and well behaved. Whereas the Barry inside us is our Unconscious part over whom we have little control and whose habits and behavior is a result of the long history of our own selves being ill-mannered, disrespectful and wrong decisions which slowly get imprinted on our unconscious mind and hence becoming second nature.

But like any muscle in our body our mind specifically our subconscious mind can be trained, to act accordingly the way we want it to and our actions as well as reactions to different situations can be accordingly trained as well. The fact of the matter is that our unconscious mind requires the conscious one to train it similar to how Barry required Harry to change him. So it's our responsibility to give the steering wheel of our mind into the hands of Harry until Barry gets pretty trained himself

So how do we do it? Well, we've got you covered. Follow the instructions step by step and were sure by the end of this article you'll have a complete idea of how to train your subconscious mind into being that responsible and dutiful barry.

Step-1: Address the problem with yourself.

Similar to how Harry confronted his brother over his ill habits, you need your conscious mind to confront the unconscious one and address the whole situation there.
An easy way to do this is by noting down every ill action or behavior you commit to in the whole day from morning to evening on a small sheet of paper(or maybe quite large sheet of paper if you feel like you are quite the notorious one) and review them before going to the bed each night.
Just addressing the problems will go a long way as it will make you realize how you are messing up your life and of those around you, those whom you love and care about. This will generate a sense of guilt inside yourself which will, in turn, provoke you to stop committing those mistakes repeatedly.

Step-2: Stop repeating those mistakes and try to quit those habits completely.

Now that you're aware of the faults, try to avoid them and eventually quit doing them.
Take one step at a time and address each problem individually. Constantly remind yourself of the ill effects it's causing in your life and how you'll eventually suffer if you do not quit them. Do your best and never give up on this. This is the hard part but believe me, you have what it takes to make it through this.

Step-3: Replacing the negative habits and behaviors with positive ones.

The Human mind is a complex thing. The more you try to divert its attention from something the harder it'll try to focus on it. Like for example, God said to Adam and Eve that they can eat anything they like from those plush and abundant gardens of paradise but not from that one single tree i.e the apple. Yet Adam and Eve with some provoking from satan ended up eating it.

The process of avoiding ill habits and behavior will become a hell lot easier if you have something to distract yourself from it, or an alternative or a backup plan of some kind.

To explain this point clearly, let's take an example. Most of us have a habit of binge-watching TV, the problem here is we don't actually watch tv because we want to but because we are bored and have become habituated to watch it whenever we feel were bored or have nothing to do. So, instead of trying yourself to avoid watching TV which will make you focus on that shit machine, even more, the easier and more effective option is to assign an alternative to watch TV. For example, you can commit to yourself that you'll read a book whenever you'll feel bored which is a much more productive and better way to pass through the boredom.

Likewise, you can allot more and more alternative like instead of eating those box full of cookies you may have an apple or instead of going out for that late-night party every week you may try spending some family time or maybe watch a valuable documentary, the options are endless

Step-4: Rewarding yourself for every good action and punishing yourself for every bad one.

So, the actual problem is solved. You've stopped doing those ugly actons and bad choices and even replaced them with good, positive ones. I appreciate your efforts if you've come this far.

But there are still some minor things missing.

You see this whole process is like baking a cake. The stage of addressing the habits and quitting them was like the main body of the cake. The stage of replacing them with positive ones was like the added delicious cream. But wheres the toppings? Without them, the cake tastes good and is no doubt a cake but it'll be a lot better if wed add some toppings to it, like some choco ships, some wafers, etc.

The toppings, in this case, are step-4. In this step you'll reward yourself for every good action you'll do and punish yourself for every bad one.

The thing is the human psychology works in this certain way that when you are rewarded for doing something you are more likely to do it again and again and when you are punished for the one you'll likely try to avoid doing it latter.

For example, fitness is your primary goal for this year and you love a specific cookie. Then you may reward yourself with a single cookie every day if you've gone for an hour-long walk in the morning and similarly punish yourself by not allowing yourself to have that cookie in case you've missed the walk.

The options are endless in this scenario.

Some people go as far as having a rubber band around your arm and using it to punish themselves for every wrong action though we will not encourage this cause this may harm your nervous system. Anything other than the extremes is acceptable and highly encouraged.

With the toppings now in place your cake is ready for you to indulge in.

Remember the road to self-improvement is not an easy one and requires extreme determination to make a change, shear patience and will power. But everyone no matter how old they are or how deep they've corrupted their unconscious self have the ability to change themselves for the better.